TO what extent do you feel in charge of yourself… your thoughts, feelings, speech, fitness, finances, lifestyle, happiness and even your future? How often can you actually get yourself to do the things you know you should do, and want to do, in order to succeed? How much more powerful would you feel, and how much more productive would you be, if you could always access self control, and always engage your “best self,” in order to live your best life?
What stops you from moving in top gear on the super-highway of life, with a sense of vitality and passion? Are you fully extending the use of your capabilities? Do you have limiting beliefs that when released, will free you to realise your dreams? Suppose you wake up tomorrow and all your life’s obstacles have shrunk, what would change about you? What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? Have you planned the steps and stages on your journey to success?
Take a moment to step back from yourself. What do you appreciate about yourself? I wonder what else you could appreciate about yourself… that would bring you a greater sense of value and fulfilment. As you observe yourself moving through life, what beliefs and attitudes would you need to beef up your courage and confidence? As you witness your life unfolding, ask yourself what enables you to live your best life.
If you develop skills to improve your life in exactly the way you want, how would your life change? What one skill, if you developed that, would just transform your entire situation? If you were stubborn about change, what would happen? When you consider the possible outcomes, how do you feel?
What story have you lived so far? If you watch your story unfold as if it was a movie; if you wanted to evaluate its meaning, its usefulness and value, how would you rate it? How much of your story did you personally create? How would you have preferred to live? Now I want you to imagine yourself living your preferred story. Imagine moving out into tomorrow… living “your dream self.” It’s the story of your best life! You are living your dream! See how outstanding you are. You’re amazing. You’re absolutely fantastic!
What commitments must you make to achieve this? What decisions? What specific behaviors are associated with your goals? Which role models inspire you? When you look in the mirror, do you see the image of a powerful, courageous and successful person? What would you need to believe about yourself so that the idea of your best life becomes solid, real, and compelling?
From now on I want you to manifest courage, confidence and freedom in your everyday life. In whatever way courage, confidence and freedom allows you to live your best life, demonstrate it. Stand upright, plant your feet firmly on the ground and breathe evenly. Modulate the tone of your voice, pay attention to the quality of the sound and the strength of your words so that what you say is effective to what you want, and pleasing to your ears. Look at the persons with whom you are speaking.
Show that you fully own your powers to think, to feel, to speak and to behave. If you wish to retain these powers fully and completely, you know that from now on you will surrender these very carefully, and only on certain occasions. You know that when others seduce you into feeling bad, you can refuse! From now onwards I want you to assume the identity of your best self. In whatever shape or form that takes, be the person you’ve always wanted to be. If at first this seems out of character, act “as if.” Mind and body are part of the same system. Soon it will become second nature to be your best self.
Constantly and consistently equip yourself with the matching temperament, attitudes, understandings, and characteristics that fit with being your best self. Beginning now, onto tomorrow, into next week, and in the months to come, operate your everyday life from a platform of strength. Just by being focused on this, you will become powerful. The benefits of success will automatically follow.
Imagine being the person you’ve always admired. Being your best self will transform how you think, how you feel, and how you relate to others. Choosing to live intentionally will transform the quality of your life. Imagine how happy and fulfilled you’d become! Don’t you want that for yourself and for your loved ones? From this day forward, wouldn’t you like this to become your way of being in the world?
A FOUNDATION FOR DAUGHTER
Q: I’M a single mum. I appreciate your thoughts as they support me and help me face my daily challenges. My daughter, like yours, has also had to live through my divorce and my struggle with starting a new career, a new life. What would I need to say to her—she’s 15—that would really form the foundation for her to do well in life? What can I do, that would set her up for a life of success?
A: If you look around, you will notice that there are many successful people who aren’t particularly good looking, charming, well-educated or talented. When you research their biographies, you will find that they have one thing in common. They became rich and successful by wanting to become rich and successful. From the beginning, they knew what they wanted, and then doggedly, they went after it.
It’s difficult to score when we can’t see the goalpost. Our vision of who we want to be is our greatest asset. The more clearly we can envision our dream, the more surely we believe we can have what we want, the more associated we are with this image, the more detail we can give this picture, the more real our movie is to us – the easier it will be for us to realise our dream.
The most empowering gift we can give our children, or anyone… is to help them discover themselves. When parenting, sometimes we use “ruthless compassion” or “tough love” to support our babies as they discover their gifts and talents, as they refine their skills and competencies. When we facilitate their access to all the resources available to them, internal or external, when we stand beside them and cheer them on instead of nag and put them down, we strengthen their self-esteem and self-confidence. Equipped with a sense of personal excellence, anyone can handle whatever it takes to get from good… to great.
A FORMULA FOR ALL
Q: I WORK in communications. Your last two articles piqued my interest because in marketing, advertising and PR, we tend to want to be clever in whatever we say. I suppose because we are paid to show we are creative! It’s easy to forget the customer because we want to look good… ego as you say. What is the formula for keeping everyone happy – the client, boss, customer and me, of course?
A: What are you responsible for, your success or other people’s happiness? When are you successful, under what circumstances? Would you put your cleverness above effective communication? What… or whose ego drives you?
How good are your listening skills? What is your client’s objective? What do your bosses want? What product or service value would most serve the customer? Realising that what people actually want, maybe quite different from their brief, how would you find out their real motivation? Have you considered the politics behind the situation? Do you know when it’s wrong to be right and when it’s right to be wrong?
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